


To Rescue What Was Lost

by sammy_the_sasquatch_boyking



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Boyking!Sam, Demon Blood, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, Wincest - Freeform, Wincestiel - Freeform, demon blood drinking, has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-06 11:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4219995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammy_the_sasquatch_boyking/pseuds/sammy_the_sasquatch_boyking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam feels like an outcast and leaves Dean and Cas for a new life but what they don't know is that a bigger plot is afoot</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam stared at his duffel, his eyes brimmed with tears, but the old Winchester stubbornness within him refused to let them fall. His lovers…No, he backtracked quickly, his exes then? Had left some time ago to go to some seedy bar and hustle, not that they had even noticed Sam’s absence.  
Looking back he didn’t know when it had started, the separation and the cracks that had appeared in their relationship with him, sure Dean and Cas were as strong as ever and made one hell of a pair, but Sam was the cast out. He had reached breaking point, and could no longer stand watching the loving glances or lust filled touches between his brother and now his Angel anymore, especially since they had belonged to him once.  
Sam laughed dejectedly at himself and told himself to stop being a huge girl about all this, as if he ever deserved the love of the most important people in his life, all he did was fail and mess things up, he honestly doesn’t blame them for leaving him. Nobody wants a screw up, especially one with his track record.  
Standing up, Sam picked up the duffel by his feet, thinking how light it is for something that carries all of his possessions. Walking to the door his feet felt like lead, he didn’t want to go, hell he’d rather stay and at least be in the presence of his lovers and barely be given a second glance, but this was for the best.  
He’d leave now, try and hitch a ride into some other no-name town, and start a new life, maybe find a girl, have a couple of kids and get a dog. Have barbeques every weekend with the neighbors and finally have the life he wanted. Again Sam laughed at himself, a small choked up noise barely leaving his throat as tears now streamed down his face. He could never have that, his past would catch up to him eventually and although they may not want him, he will always belong to Dean and Cas.  
Reaching a shaky hand for the door handle, he grasped it tightly, as if it would help anchor him and make this any easier. Sam looked back on their room, at the clothes strewn about on the floor, the empty boxes of pizza on the table, and at the two double beds. He remembered when they used to get one.  
Sam turned the doorknob and opened the door gingerly, somehow trying to delay the finality of stepping through the door. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, hoisted his duffel onto his shoulder and stepped out the motel door into the silent night.

*** 

Dean stepped up to the bar and called up the bartender, listing off the beer and food him and Cas wanted. He turned back to the pool tables just in time to stare at Cas bent over taking his shot, his jeans pulling tight on his ass, making Dean half hard thinking about what he’s going to do to his Angel back at their motel room.  
He felt a body press to his side and turned to find a petite brunette, wearing a short skirt and a tight shirt which were definitely showing off her assets, and with make-up that made her look ethereal in beauty, for a moment he was reminded of Sam.  
Once upon a time he would’ve taken this girl back to her bed and fucked her till they were both sweaty, aching and tired, before leaving as the sun rose without so much as a goodbye. Now though he had Sam and Cas and couldn’t ask for more.  
“Hey there” the brunette drawled, with anything but innocence.  
“Sorry darling but I’m taken” Dean replied, without so much as a glance her way, his eyes back on Cas.  
“I ain’t seen you with anyone, plus I’m sure she won’t mind” the girl said, she was persistent Dean would give her that.  
Dean calmly turned toward her and leaned into her ear saying “You see that guy by the pool table, the one with blue eyes that you could swim in, and with hands so talented he could make you cum in three seconds flat” The petite girl shivered at his words and nodded her head slowly, eyes lust blown. “He’s mine, and he doesn’t share. So you better go and find someone else for the night, unless you want him to deal with”  
With that Dean took the drinks and sauntered towards Cas, not sparing a look the girls way as he pinched Cas’s ass, making him yelp in surprise, just as he was about to make his shot.  
“You’re a dick, you know that right” Cas said towards Dean, trying to realign his shot.  
“Yeah, but I’m your dick” Dean retorted  
“I suppose you’re right, I do enjoy riding you” Cas replied with a smirk, in his sex voice.  
Dean’s dick twitched hard at the thought and hastily tried to adjust himself in his pants, his eyes went lust blown and he had to resist the urge to bend Cas over the table and show him whose boss. Castiel laughed in response to Dean’s reaction and started handling his cue in a way that was far too inappropriate for a bar.  
By the time the food came, Dean was all hot and flustered and had to keep assuring the waitress that he was fine, and that he wouldn’t need another drink. They abandoned their game and sat across from each other in a booth of to a corner.  
When she left, Dean glared at Cas and said “I hate you” trying to pull off angry, but instead just looking like a pouting baby. Cas smiled, “You love me really”. Dean just mumbled something about angels and things being unfair, before he took a massive bite out of his burger, groaning in pleasure or what Sam would call a foodgasm.  
Cas’s heart panged at the thought of Sam, at how far apart they’d gotten, so much so he barely ever came out with them anymore, barely ever spent time together anymore. Guilt filled Cas as he thought of all the times he had brushed off Sam trying to reach out to him.  
“Earth to Cas, anybody home” Cas blinked, coming back to himself, and seeing Dean’s hand waving in front of him, he smiled trying to play off Dean’s concern.  
“You alright dude, you looked pretty out of it” Emerald green eyes looked at him in concern, was he really that out of it?  
“I’m fine, I was just thinking”  
“About what?”  
“Do you think pigeons have feelings?” Cas replied. There was no reason to worry Dean about Sam, if there was even a reason to worry about Sam, maybe he was just going through an Emo phase as Dean would say  
Dean sighed, “I’m gonna regret showing you that video aren’t I?”  
“Until I find out the answer, yes”  
“You’re an angel, shouldn’t you know this”  
“I do, it’s just fun to annoy you, especially when your lips get all pouty, I just want to grab your face and kiss you”  
“Then why don’t you” Dean challenged. The next thing he knew he felt a hand guiding his face until he felt lips against his own, pressing hard and trying to open his. Dean closed his eyes and opened his mouth willingly, groaning when Cas’s tongue entered his mouth which soon started plundering and claiming. He could do little more than reach a hand into Cas’s already messy hair, grab a handful and tug. He was rewarded with a groan from Cas and reached his other hand around Cas’s body pulling him closer, all thoughts of people seeing them like this gone and instead heading towards what else Cas could do with his tongue.  
Too soon Cas pulled away, biting into Deans lower lip and staring at him with eyes that were almost completely black. For a moment they stayed like that, panting and looking at one another, still holding each other close.  
Cas spoke in a rough, broken voice, “Just so you know they do have feelings”.  
“What?” All upstairs thinking had gone as soon as he had felt Cas’s lips against his own.  
“Pigeons. Pigeons have feelings”  
Dean just smiled and leant his head into the juncture between Cas’s shoulder and neck “You’re an idiot”  
“Yeah but I’m your idiot” Cas retorted  
“Can you take us back to the motel room? I want to put your tongue to better uses” Dean growled, intent clear in his voice.  
“But Dean we haven’t finished our food or hustled any…” Cas broke off as Dean started kissing his neck, grazing his teeth every now and then, just as the hand that was around him pulled back to start rubbing against his tented jeans.  
“I said motel, Cas”  
He didn’t need to be told a third time.

 ***

All Sam could think was ‘cold’ and ‘wet’ as he walked down the asphalt road. He didn’t know how long he’d been out there for. Minutes? Hours? All he knew was that one car had passed him by and that the only thing they gave him was puddle water in the face. He’s tempted to go back, at least he had a bed and a shower back in that room, all he had here is rain and wet grass on the roadside.  
But no, him going back would be another thing he’s failed at, and he can’t bear the thought of the looks of disgust on Cas and Deans faces, when they realized he’d failed at another thing. Thinking about them makes his knees go weak and he stumbles, barely recovering before landing face first.  
He hears a rumble, as if from an old car and panics. What if they saw him? Would they drive by? Would they help? He worked himself into a frenzy, until he’s breathing heavily and his heart rate is erratic, he collapses. The last thing he sees are headlights coming towards him before everything goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam awoke to a dull throbbing in his head and a ringing in his ears; he kept his eyes closed as that helped minutely with the pounding in his head. His body ached, a deep, right to the bone ache which made him even more tired, but he figured he may as well get this over with as soon as possible, maybe even get Dean to drop him off somewhere.  
He went to stretch as if he were lying in the backseat of the 67’ Impala he’d come to call home, so he was surprised when his joined hands hit the roof of a truck and made a resounding clang, this wasn’t the Impala.  
Sam snapped his eyes open, instantly regretting it as pain spiked in his head; he couldn’t help the whimper of pain that escaped him.  
“Ah, so you’re awake then. Gave me quite a scare back there you know” A deep but strangely warm voice said beside him.  
“Wha-What happened? Where am I?” was all Sam could get out in response.  
Sam’s eyesight was blurry at best so he couldn’t get a proper visual on the man who’d taken him, against his better judgement he once again closed them and decided to slowly work up to opening them, which involved the smallest amount of pain.  
“You collapsed right on the roadside in front of me, gave me a heart attack, I thought I’d hit you, and I couldn’t just leave you there with a storm coming, so I hauled you in.”  
“I collapsed? I don’t remember much, are you sure?”  
“I think I’d remember a near giant collapsing in front of my truck. You seemed to be in shock or having an attack or something, you were breathing like you’d just run a marathon, scared the crap out of me so I’m taking you to a hospital”  
“No don’t” Sam couldn’t help the outburst, but hospitals meant questions, questions he didn’t have answers too, plus Dean is his emergency contact under every alias. “I’ll be fine, just drop me off somewhere on the roadside, I can manage”  
“Do you think I’m stupid, there’s no way I’m leaving you out there in your state, you’d be dead by morning. Not to mention the high heavens have decided to open for us, I’m not gonna let you get even more sick”  
Sam was surprised that this man had decided to become his caregiver and although he hated it the man was right, he doubted he could stand upright, let alone defend himself if someone or something thought to get the better of him. He slowly opened his eyes and was relieved to be able to make out his hands folded in his lap; slowly he turned his head and saw the man who’d helped him.  
He was around forty years old and had salt and pepper stubble, a mop of raven hair with grey eyes that were wise beyond their years. Even though he was sitting down Sam could tell he was tall and well built, not as much as he or Dean, but more like Cas. Sam dispelled the thought of them immediately. Although he had a stern face and looked as if he could strike fear into anyone, there wear crinkles around his mouth and eyes that said this man laughed a lot or at least smiled, that reassured Sam little.  
“Thank you, for helping me” Sam mumbled. He was tired, still ached and he had no idea where he was heading, but it was away from them. The pain in his chest flared a little at the thought, but he remained by his actions. They were definitely better off without him. With that thought Sam once again closed his eyes and he sank into a dreamless sleep.

***

Dean stared up at the ceiling, Cas sleeping on his right shoulder and the blanket draped across their hips. He couldn’t sleep and decided against waking Cas up, he’d just be grouchy at Dean for waking him up before eight. However, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t will himself to sleep, it was as if a massive chunk of himself was gone and had left a gaping wound inside him.  
Dean couldn’t explain it; Cas was right beside him and Sam in the bed next to theirs. Sure their distancing from Sam had hurt him, he couldn’t bear to see the looks of hurt on his baby brothers’ face, but he’d just done it, as if something was trying to separate them. At that thought he turned his head, maybe he’d go sleep with Sam tonight, his brother beside him had always put him at rest.  
He looked at Sam’s bed, expecting to find his sleeping form but instead only seeing a well-made and empty bed. Dean tried not to panic as he glanced towards the bathroom, the light was off and the door open meaning Sam wasn’t in there. He quickly sat up; ignoring Cas’s mumbling to him and looked around the room. No laptop on the table, no washing bag in the corner of the room, and only two duffle bags.  
Dean blindly reached for his phone on the bedside table and called Sam. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Before Dean could end the call and probably smash his phone against the wall, someone picked up.  
“Hello” An unfamiliar male voice sounded in Dean’s ear, and he tried to hold back his anger.  
“What have you done to my brother? I swear if you’ve harmed one hair on his head-“  
“Dean, right? Your brother’s with me now, but he’s sleeping, I found him collapsed on the roadside”  
“You what. Tell me where you are and I’ll come get him” panic flooded Dean and he couldn’t help but think of every worst case scenario.  
“Sorry Deano but no can do, see my boss would greatly like to see the great Sam Winchester, and shall we say, help him regain his former power”  
“Listen here, you either tell me where you are or I will hunt you and your buddies down and you’ll regret the day you ever laid eyes on him”  
“I look forward to it Dean, but even if you do get your brother back he won’t be the same as when he left you”  
With that the phone went dead. Dean sprang from the bed and threw his phone at the wall in his rage. There was shriek heard from outside, and Cas sprang up from the bed, in the next second both him and Dean were changed, armed, and were darting towards the door. They however didn’t make it as the brunette from the bar came crashing through the door and pinned Dean and Cas to the opposite wall.  
“What did you do?” the brunette screeched at them.  
“How can you pin me to the wall, you shouldn’t be powerful enough for that” Cas shouted, trying to cover his panic with rage.  
“Well you aren’t exactly at full strength are you Castiel” The girl smirked “Now tell me how you did it, how did you break the spell?” anger flared up in her voice.  
Dean stared in shock as things unraveled and began to make sense, the phone call, the spell and Sam’s disappearance. It was all part of a plan.  
“It was you wasn’t it, you cast a spell on Cas and me to make Sam leave, you’re the reason Sam’s been taken and why he’s now in trouble” snarled Dean, he couldn’t help the rage that filled him, that this witch is the reason Sam left.  
“You’re quick on the ball aren’t you dean, admittedly working with demons is a messy business but I couldn’t miss the opportunity to screw with the Winchesters and their Angel”  
“Sam’s gone?” Cas couldn’t help the surprise and hurt that filled his voice.  
“And now I get to kill you, so it’s a win-win situation” The woman smiled as she started reciting an enchantment.  
Dean and Cas stared at each other, still pinned against the wall; they thought of the person they’d lost, their universe, and that they’d now lose each other. They sent silent apologies to Sam as pain started flaring in their chests.  
They thought of Sam and all that they’d been through together, this was not the way it would end. Slowly the rage and sorrow of their loss gave them power, they started sinking to the floor and started towards the witch, who had now stopped her incantation in shock. Cas threw out his hand and the witch was flung and pinned to the opposite wall.  
“How is this possible? You can’t do this” she cried, struggling against the wall but the hold Cas had on her didn’t fail.  
“Now you’ll pay for what you’ve done” Cas drew his Angel Blade and held it out to Dean.  
Dean walked up slowly to the witch and dragged the tip of the blade across the witch’s chest, relishing in the scream of pain she let loose.  
“It doesn’t matter if you kill me” she whimpered, trying to hold in another scream of pain as Dean kept slicing her “By now Sam has already had his first dose, and it won’t be long before he’s taken over Hell”  
With those final words Dean stabbed her in the heart and twisted, before he swiftly pulled the blade out and turned to Cas.  
“Dean we have to find Sam before they feed him more blood”  
“C’mon Cas we don’t have much time”  
Cas clicked his fingers and the room was in perfect order with the witch gone, the duffel were packed and on the bed. With a touch of fingers against his forehead he was in the Impala and driving his keys into the ignition.  
They had a soulmate to find.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas stared at the empty road in front of him, watching each mile be swiftly eaten by the Impala. It had been 3 days since they’d left that motel room, and only an hour ago had he been able to relinquish Dean of the steering wheel to take some much needed rest.  
They were desperate; they had no idea where they could find Sam. Dean had said that whatever vehicle the man and Sam were in was old, maybe a truck. Cas had managed to track the call from the smashed phone to Minnesota. They had gotten there in next to no time due to Deans reckless driving, but the question was, where next?  
They’d taken to going into gas stations posing as FBI agents and asking to see camera footage for the last few days, hoping to get an idea on the truck and the man from the phone but most importantly how Sam was.  
At one gas station about a day ago they’d gotten lucky and found the truck, marking down their plates and who’d the man from the phone was. They’d only found this out due to seeing Sam come out of the truck, admittedly they’d both snarled when the guy caught Sam as he practically fell out of the truck, and proceeded to go into the bathroom. Both Dean and Cas were relieved to see the guy didn’t follow him, showing that Sam hadn’t drunken any of his blood then. Sam was comfortable enough towards him though meaning he was either under the demons control, or he didn’t know who he was road tripping with.  
That footage was 26 hours old at the time they saw it, Dean had started driving like a mad man in order to try and catch up.  
Cas looked across at Dean now, he noticed the bags under his eyes and his paler complexion, they both hadn’t taken to this well. Cas himself felt as if a part of his being was missing and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t heal it. Despite being an Angel he felt weary, as if he could close his eyes and sleep for centuries. They’d gone through so much already, together and alone, but Sam more than most; they all more than deserved a break.  
Dean had barely eaten since they’d left, Cas had tried to tempt him with burgers and pizzas at first, when that didn’t work he went to chocolate and chips, and when that didn’t work he went to begging. Like with Sam, Dean could never deny Cas’s puppy dog eyes, so he had eaten a protein bar and had a bottle of water. That was a few hours ago.  
Cas stared back at the road ahead and tried to focus on driving, he didn’t know how much longer they could survive like this.

 

Sam awoke feeling refreshed, as if he’d just spent a night at the bunker with his memory foam mattress, but the crick in his neck told him otherwise. At this he snapped open his eyes and collected his bearings, he was sitting in the passenger seat of a truck which was idle at a gas station. Suddenly the night’s events came crashing back to him and he looked out the window to see the mysterious driver of said truck walking towards him with a bag.  
Sam opened the door of the truck and went to step out, however when his foot went to touch the step it was if his leg went to jelly and he started falling out of the truck. Before he could swing his arms out to protect himself, two strong arms caught him and held him as he tried to put his feet under him.  
Sam looked up and his eyes met those of his companion, there was something about his eyes that disturbed Sam, causing him to quickly avert his gaze.  
“Easy there tiger, where d’you think you’re going?” a deep voice rumbled near Sam’s ear.  
Sam quickly detached himself from the man and got some distance while he tried not to notice that this stranger had just recited the first words Dean had said to him when he’d come to collect him from college.  
“I wanted to stretch my legs, it’s getting cramped in there. Plus I haven’t been to the toilet in what feels like days” Sam could only reply as he started stumbling towards what he assumed to be the bathrooms.  
“Whoa there, sure you don’t need a hand, I don’t want to come and haul your bigfoot ass out of a ditch when you stumble on a pebble”  
“I can manage by myself, thanks” Sam was nothing if not stubborn; he’d show this guy he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.  
Once Sam had relieved himself and washed his hands, against his better judgement he decided to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was dirty and clumpy from grease and mud, along with going in every direction due to sleeping pressed against a window. He had bags under his eyes, and said eyes that were once the color of zultanite were now dull and glassy. His face was pale, his lips were dry and chapped, his clothes crumpled and dirty. He looked like Death warmed up.  
Quickly he splashed water on his face and ran his hands through his hair a few times, trying to neaten it up but it wouldn’t obey him. It’s at times like these he regrets having long hair and wishes he’d let Dean or Cas cut it.  
Deciding that nothing was working he went back outside and was glad to notice that he was getting used to the whole walking thing, and regretting having to get back in the truck. Without further ado though he made his way over, opened the door and stepped in, settling himself in first before closing the door.  
“Here figure you’d need this”  
Sam turned to see a callous hand holding out a protein bar, he quickly snatched it up and tried to open the packaging but his fingers didn’t seem to co-ordinate themselves today. In the next moment, the same hand that gave him the bar took it back and opened it before handing it back.  
Sam practically swallowed the thing, he was starving and was about to turn to ask for more when he was beaten to the chase.  
“I didn’t know what you liked so I got sandwiches, salad, chips, you name it. Just help yourself to whatever you want”  
Sam took the bag and rummaged throughout it, deciding to settle for Chicken Cesar salad and a few chocolate bars. He’d care about his health later; right now he needed to build up his energy.  
Sam could only whisper as he realized how parched he was, “Why are you doing this for me? I’m just some stranger you picked up on the roadside, you could’ve dropped me off at some hostel or motel”  
“I guess I just feel kinda responsible for you collapsing, you look like you’ve been through a lot of crap so I thought I ought to show you that it’s not all doom and gloom”  
“Understatement of the century” Sam murmured to himself, he couldn’t help but feel bitter about the hand that he’d been dealt. “Thank you anyway, for what you’re doing. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t gotten me”  
“Think nothing of it, now you must be pretty thirsty. I’ve got water, blackcurrant squash or beer, however I suggest you wait a few days until you have anything alcoholic”  
“Water’s fine thanks”. Sam took the bottle held out to him and drank the whole thing in a matter of seconds, he didn’t realize how thirsty he was. In the next moment a bottle of blackcurrant squash was handed to him as well. “No that’s fine, have it yourself”  
“I’ve got beer, plus you need it” Sam was hesitant towards taking it. “It’s not gonna bite you, just take the bottle”  
Sam grabbed the bottle, not noticing that the seal was already broken as he opened it and took a swig of it, intending to make this one last. It had a tang to it that he couldn’t name but that made it addictive as it hit the back of his throat. Before he realised it he’d drunk the whole bottle and was already mourning its loss. He could feel it travel down him and it was if his energy stores were suddenly replenished, he’d definitely ask for another one of those at the next gas stop.  
Having had enough to drink for now, Sam opened his salad and started to dig in, oblivious to the smile his companion sent his way.

 

They decided on a different tactic instead of blindly following the demon into what would probably turn into a trap. They stood together at a crossroads, and waited for the demon they’d summoned.  
It was Cas’s idea originally, the road they were traveling on was straight with nothing but open country for days, but as they got closer to civilisation there were more deviations and chances for them to lose the truck.  
The demons who’d taken Sam were intending to mold him into their leader, the destined Boyking. To do that they’d need to get rid of Hell’s current leader, so who better to help them than the King of Hell.  
“Squirrel, Cassandra, what situation have you gotten yourselves into that you so desperately needed my help”  
Both Dean and Cas couldn’t wait for the day they no longer had to hear that snarky British accent, but for now that had to wait.  
“We need your help to find Sam” Cas stated clearly, leaving no room for argument.  
“I’m sure whatever trouble moose has gotten himself in, he can get out of”  
“Even when it involves your death” Dean was getting impatient, the more time they wasted the harder it would be to get Sam back.  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Long story short, some demons probably hate you, so they bewitched us, took Sam and are currently trying to turn him into Hell’s next ruler. Now you can either help us get him back, or do nothing and wait for the day he comes and kills you. I’ve seen what he can do and with enough juice he can wipe out anyone so don’t think you’re special because your top dog”  
There was a long pause as the story sunk in; both Dean and Cas were fidgety as they waited. Crowley was unpredictable, the obvious thing to do would be to help but he may try his luck and hope to defeat Sam. They wouldn’t be sorry to see him go.  
“I’m in”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i could end the story by next chapter or i could carry it on as i do have some idea on what i can do. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated

The trio were standing in a loose circle in what Dean guessed was Hell, all he could say was that it looked very different from his time here.  
After Crowley had joined their cause, he’d vanished. He hadn’t said where, only that he had to ‘check up on something’ whatever that meant and that he’d be ‘back in a flash’.  
After what had felt like an hour Dean and Cas had started to leave the crossroads, heading towards the car when the surroundings changed around them. They had been transported to some kind of crossroads corridor in which Crowley stood center.  
As they were still walking Cas had managed to stop before he hit the wall, Dean however was not as lucky.  
“UGH” was the noise Dean let out as he hit the wall, while Crowley was trying his best not to let out a chuckle. Dean turned from the wall and rounded on Crowley “We don’t have time for your games, so if you don’t start treating this seriously I will start chopping limbs until we get what we need”  
Cas grabbed Deans shoulders and used his superior strength to pull Dean back and away from Crowley. Although Cas would like nothing more than to see him dead, they needed him to get Sam back.  
“I’m shaking in my custom made leather shoes, now can we get down to business or would you like to threaten me some more” Crowley said towards them with a smug look on his face.  
Dean shrugged out of Cas’s hold on him and glared at Crowley, waiting for him to carry on speaking.  
“So every demon has a different summoning spell, new ones are made for those who are made and others destroyed when demons are killed. Now if I’m correct moose sported the black eyes when he killed Lilith, yes?”  
“That’s what Chuck said yeah, but how’s that going to help us, Sam isn’t a full on demon” Dean couldn’t help the irritation that sounded in his voice. He’s starting to regret letting Cas drag him into this.  
“I am aware of that squirrel but we’re not just knives and torture in Hell, we do keep a record of every demon that’s ever been, no matter how brief. Not to mention their summoning ritual as well”  
“Great, can we get to the point now”  
Crowley leant towards Cas and stage whispered to him “Where’d you pick this one up, I thought you had a better taste”  
“From Hell, so can we please move this along otherwise we’ll find another way to get Sam”  
“And what would that be Castiel? Get your pals upstairs who are currently hunting you after you freed that scribe. Or why not try and find something in that outdated bunker of yours”  
Deans had had enough; they’d get nowhere if they were constantly at each others throats “Can we just move this along, at this rate Hell will freeze over before we get anything done”  
“My apologies squirrel, follow me you two we’re going to Hells library for some research, see if we can find your brothers summoning spell”  
With that Crowley turned and started walking down one of the long, dark hallways before he rounded the corner, not bothering to look back to see if they were following.  
Dean just turned to Cas and asked “Hell has a library?”

 ***

“So what’s your story?” The question was abrupt and caught Sam by surprise.  
“Pardon”  
“Surely you must have a story or two to tell. Why were you leaving town?”  
Sam paused to think for a moment, the man who he’d come to learn as Alex had told him his story, or at least parts of it. He lived with his wife and 2.5 kids on some farm, he’d grown up in the system and had a rough upbringing, he was a doctor who went from door to door in his town and went to church every Sunday.  
Overall he seemed like a good guy, but something niggled at the back of Sam’s mind that he was leaving something out and that he shouldn’t be trusted. Sam dispelled the thought; this man had been nothing but good to him.  
“Uhm, there’s not much to tell really”  
“I don’t believe that for a second, c’mon spill. I promise that whatever you say won’t leave this truck”  
Sam thought about it for a moment and decided to tell part of the truth, it’s not like this guy would tell the difference.  
“So uh my parents died when I was a baby and I relied on my brother a lot growing up. We moved around quite a bit as kids, moving from family to family, my brother was always worried that I wouldn’t have a proper upbringing and couldn’t do what I wanted to. Despite that though we managed to set up somewhere in Idaho and my brother became an engineer while I became a lawyer…” Sam had to pause a moment, it felt as if his throat was closing. “I got married…but that ended quickly. Things got harder and I couldn’t stay in that town anymore so I packed a bag and left, kept on walking until you found me”  
“I’m sorry man, if you don’t mind me asking, what happened that made you leave just like that”  
“I couldn’t stay in a place that I was no longer wanted” Sam spoke tersely, ending any further conversation.  
There was a palpable silence in the truck, each staring ahead, caught up in their own minds. Alex reached a hand down and turned the radio on, the start to Ramblin’ on coming out of the speakers, one of Dean’s favourite songs.  
Sam’s hand whipped down and turned it off, once again plunging the truck into silence. Alex just gave a concerned sidelong glance to Sam.  
“Here have a pick me up, I know you love em” Alex held another bottle of blackcurrant squash to Sam.  
Sam quirked his lips a little and said his thank you as he took the bottle, trying to hide his eagerness to get the liquid down his throat.  
He groaned when its taste flooded his mouth, except the drink felt almost thicker than it normally did. He tried to stop himself, but the taste was too good and he’d missed it. Although it was watered down he now couldn’t mistake the taste of demon blood mixed in with the squash.  
“That’s it Sammy, drink up. There’s plenty more where that came from”  
When all traces of the liquid had been drunk, Sam threw the bottle and with diluted pupils turned towards Alex. “How long have you been feeding me this stuff?”  
“Since you woke up at that first gas station, admittedly it’s only been in small doses but I think you can have a bit more now” Alex smirked as he took a pen knife from his pocket and slid it across his right wrist, causing blood to spill from the wound and slide down his bare arm. “Help yourself Sam”  
Sam turned trying to open the passenger door, he wouldn’t become the abomination everyone thought him to be, however the door refused to open. Suddenly he was shoved into it as the demon went to stop on the roadside.  
Before they’d even stopped a hand had grabbed his hair and was pulling it with inhumane strength, tears filling Sam’s eyes at the pain lancing across his head. Suddenly the open wrist was at his mouth but he kept his lips tightly sealed.  
“You will drink this Sam, no matter how much you try to resist”  
Blood was being smeared all over his mouth and he had to fight himself strongly to avoid the temptation of licking them.  
“C’mon Sam, just remember how it tasted, how the power..” Alex had started choking, black smoke clogging his throat, however it only lasted briefly. “You don’t have the juice, I’m not stupid enough to give you that much”  
“Never underestimate a Winchester” was Sam’s reply as he focused all his strength on exorcising the demon behind him.  
Intense pain filled his head, he didn’t have enough power to exorcise him but he’d try. The pain increased and it felt as if his head would explode at any moment, he ignored the blood pouring from his nose and only stopped when he saw a golden glow emanate behind him in the side mirror.  
Sam almost fainted as he let himself relax, pain still flaring in his head. He turned enough to see the dead meat suit left behind, and briefly felt sorry for the guy. Sam didn’t know how he had managed to kill the demon when he barely had the power to exorcise it, but he thanked anybody who’d listen that it had happened.  
Sam closed his eyes and sighed in relief as the pain started to ease, he’d worry about the consequences later, but for now he needed to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam could hear an irregular tapping noise as he slowly regained consciousness, and if he wasn’t in so much pain he would probably find the source and stop it. Instead he decided to remain lying down and hoped it would stop by itself, unfortunately he wasn’t that lucky, for a moment later he heard a voice and there was a light being flashed in his face.  
“Sir, Sir you need to wake up, Sir” The noise was grating, and although it was painful Sam slowly sat up and opened the window.  
With a tired and sleep deep voice Sam spoke to the officer “What can I do for you officer”  
“Would you mind waking up your friend and stepping out of the vehicle”  
Worry stared to fill Sam, if they found out he was dead, they’d take him in and he had no one to help with an escape plan this time. He glanced behind himself and looked at the dried blood covering the guys forearm, he sneaked a look in the mirror and saw blood caked around his mouth. This could end very badly for him if he didn’t play his cards right.  
As Sam opened his mouth to tell some tale containing 95% lies, a few punches and an escape to hide somewhere, his surroundings changed. No longer was he sitting in a truck about to be arrested, but he was standing in a devils trap and saw the people he least wanted to see at the moment.  
Crowley was standing over a bowl of ingredients and holding a piece of paper, while Cas and Dean stood together. There was a mixture of emotions flickering on their faces happiness, sadness, disgust, fury, and relief.  
Sam couldn’t look at them, even though the blood he’d drank had been pretty much unknowingly they didn’t know that and all they saw was the blood caked around his mouth.  
Sam prepared for the worst, for shouting and punches, to be locked in a room and forced to go through the torment of detoxing alone, again. He flinched when Dean and Cas both stepped into the devils trap with him, he was surprised however when he felt two pairs of arms around him and crushing him into their chests.

*** 

Dean slammed his head against the table as he finished another book containing nothing useful. Although Hell had been revolutionized the library hadn’t quite caught up, Crowley thought the library should stay as it was with the only new thing being the Dewey decimal system.  
They hadn’t known where to start to find the needed information about Sam, so were each handed a pile of books on Hells hierarchy to skim through. A couple of times they thought they were on to something and yes it was about Sam but just his destiny, after reading those passages Dean’s glad that Sam had chosen a different path.  
They were tired and as a result they kept snapping at each other. Dean was about to suggest a break, maybe letting him and Cas go outside and have something to eat when Cas piped up.  
“Maybe we’ve been doing this all wrong”  
“How so Cassie, the only thing I’ve found out is that I should get some computers in here, I can’t stand this” Crowley snarled back  
“Isn’t everything on a timeline? Every book in the order that it happened?”  
“I guess so, now what’s your point?”  
“Well why don’t we go back to the moment Sam killed Lilith instead of trying to find something about him in hierarchy books” in the next moment he vanished, Dean felt a flicker of hope but didn’t let it grow beyond that. In another moment Cas reappeared again holding a big and intricate book in his hands.  
“Here it is, ‘and he shall earn his crown of thorns as he casts the first one down, with eyes of yellow burning as he comes into his own, and as he sits upon his throne of bones the fallen one shall smile. “  
Dean couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran down his spine at those words “Am I the only one that’s a little creeped by that”  
“Don’t be such a woss Deanna it’s just a load of fairy tales to make the new demons scared, nothing behind it at all”  
“Both of you shut up, I’ve found the summoning ritual and if you can stop arguing for two minutes we might get this done” Cas snapped at the two of them, he’d just about had enough of this. “Now Crowley can you get the ingredients”  
He quickly scanned the page, a furrow appearing between his eyebrows “If you’re willing to lend us a few feathers and your grace then yes we can”  
“I would have thought being the King of Hell you would’ve gotten this stuff anyway, I can’t lose my Grace. Not again”  
“Whoa Whoa Whoa, you need Angel Feathers and Grace for the summoning? What kind of messed up crap is that”  
“I’m not sure if this little research session has taught you anything Deanna but your brother is destined to be the most powerful demon in existence, so to summon something that powerful you’ll need to kill a few beings”  
“A few, so it’s not just an Angel we need to ice?”  
Crowley sighed in annoyance “We need many complicated ingredients, so I’m sure Cas will be willing to go through it with you while I collect them”  
Crowley disappeared before Dean could protest “Son of a Bitch”  
“Dean, this is the only way to get Sam back, sacrifices have to be made”  
“But killing innocent things just to bring him back? That makes us no better than them” Dean said pointing towards the doorway out of the library and into Hell “I’m sure there’s another way, I won’t have you lose your Grace again”  
“Dean Listen, I want Sam back I do but this is the easiest way, I have Metatron’s Grace that we can use, and most of my feathers fall of naturally, nobody has to die”  
“I just don’t think this is a good idea Cas”  
“I know Dean but hopefully it’ll be over soon” Cas moved towards Dean and moved his arms around him, holding him close “just remember the Sam that we summon may not be the same as when he left”  
Dean held onto Cas like a lifeline and buried his head into Cas’s neck “That’s what I’m afraid of”

*** 

Dean finished spray painting the devils trap, he had thought it to be unnecessary, their Sammy wouldn’t come after them, but Crowley had insisted. Dean was tempted to leave a gap allowing Sam to kill Crowley if he could, but he knew Cas would disapprove and fix it anyway.  
Cas walked over to Crowley who was examining the passage to be read  
“Are you sure you’ve gotten everything?” Cas had examined everything to make sure, but couldn’t help the worry that they had missed something  
“Apart from the holy items, yes I do. Care to give me the remaining ingredients”  
Cas removed the chain with the vial of Grace from around his neck and handed it to Crowley, he was reluctant to part with it but an eye for an eye.  
“And the feathers”  
Dean walked up to the table and grabbed Cas’s hand, squeezing it gently in support. Cas squeezed back, silently thanking him for support, although they had fallen they were still some of his last remaining feathers and it pained him to part with them. With reluctance he reached behind his back with his free hand and did a slight gripping motion, when his hand came around he was holding five large feathers.  
Dean had never seen Cas’s wings or feathers before, apart from their silhouette so he was surprised to see pitch black feathers with what looked like white glowing dots on them. He saw a red dot and thought it odd until he made the connection.  
“Is that the Orion constellation?” Dean couldn’t stop the question spill from his lips.  
“Yes, when my wings were full you could see the entire universe upon them, new feathers would grow as it expanded and angels would always come to see what was new in the universe.” A ghost of a smile passed across Cas’s lips “But now my feathers only hold parts of the universe that humans are aware of, quite fitting I thought, since I fell for them”  
“Alright enough with heart-warming story, you can cry over some Hagen-Dazs later but for now we have a moose to summon”  
The only thing preventing Dean from stabbing Crowley’s face with an angel blade was Cas’s arm on his shoulder “Don’t Dean, let’s get Sam back first”  
Cas released Dean and went to stand by the devils trap, Dean glared at Crowley a moment longer before joining him, once again grabbing his hand. Crowley started chanting in the background, some old ancient language Dean had no clue on how to decipher.  
As Crowley’s voice constantly changed pitch while uttering words they glared into the center of the trap as if they could use their will to make Sam appear.  
The chanting stopped and nothing happened, they waited a moment longer and still nothing. As they were about to turn and demand what had happened he appeared.  
His clothes were dirty and he hadn’t shaved for days, his hair untidy and his eyes tired but the most striking thing was the blood covering his lips. They were too late, the relief and happiness they had felt was now being taken over by fury for the person who’d done this. They looked again and saw Sam shrink into himself, which kicked them into action. No matter what Sam had done, they wouldn’t let him fear them; they’d figure it all out in good time.  
Together they stepped into the devils trap, and their hearts broke a little more at the flinch by Sam. They kept moving though, and wrapped their arms around him, crushing him into their chests, hoping to convey that he was loved and he was home.


	6. Chapter 6

Cas couldn’t sleep, his eyes transfixed on Sam’s sleeping form in front of him. He carefully lifted his fingers and gently traced the contours of Sam’s face, tracing his plump lips and the moles scattered across his face and shoulders.  
He couldn’t sleep due to the fear that by morning Sam will be gone again, he doesn’t think he could go through it a second time. He dispels the thought, Sam wouldn’t leave them again he was sure of it. Instead he presses closer against Sam’s front, wrapping his arm around the sleeping brothers.  
Dean insisted on being the big spoon, his hold on them hadn’t lessened during sleep if anything it’s gotten tighter. Cas closed his eyes, tucking his head under Sam’s chin and breathing in Sam’s scent deeply, he relaxed his muscles and before he knew it his mind was swirling with colors especially those of forest green and zultanite.

*** 

Dean’s grip on the bodies in front of him tightened as he stretched and opened his eyes, he rubbed his eyes to clear his vision and lent up on his forearm. He smiled at the view in front of him, Cas with his sleep ruffled hair, clinging and tucked into Sam, It’s hard to believe that he could kill nearly anything with a touch. Then Sam with his hair skewed every which way, while getting an impressive amount of stubble, his eyes were flickering behind his eyelids and Dean was curious as to what was going on behind them.  
His mind went back to the night before, with the dry blood covering his mouth, and in a moment he was shaking Sam and breathed a sigh of relief as their eyes met.  
“Dean? What are you doing” Sam’s sleep riddled voice broke the silence in the room  
“Are you okay? Are you not going into detox?” Dean was looking at concern towards Sam.  
“I’m fine Dean, don’t worry” with that Sam turned around and wrapped both arms around Cas until he realized what he was doing and retracted them.  
Dean looked down confused, Why did Sam remove his arms? Why isn’t he going into detox? He drank blood surely it should affect him now.  
“Okay Sam I’ve had enough, tell me what happened”  
“Can’t it wait, I want a shower and coffee before I tell you guys what happened”  
“Fine wake up Cas and I’ll go out and get us breakfast” Dean left the bed and started to pick up his clothes from the night before, shoving them on carelessly.  
“I’m not waking Cas up, you know how grouchy he gets in the morning unless there’s coffee at hand”  
“He’ll be fine, he’s gotten better at it. I’ll see you in 10” Dean picked up the Impala keys and left the room, closing the door gently so as to not wake the bear, Sam would have a great time waking Cas up.

*** 

When Dean stepped into the room, coffee and pancakes in hand, he was glad to see Sam showered and shaven sitting with Cas on the bed. Their foreheads were pressed together with Sam leaning against the wall and Cas on his lap, they were whispering between each other and Dean couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his features. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but it’s time they learnt what happened.  
“Hey Sastiel, breakfasts up” Dean called out, laughing as they both jumped.  
Cas all but sprinted up to get the coffee from Dean’s hand; they may have to hold an intervention for him soon.  
Taking the breakfast and two coffees with him he sat down on the bed next to Sam and waited for Cas to join them and get comfortable. He handed Sam his pancakes with maple syrup and waited for him to start speaking.  
They ate in silence for a moment trying to ignore the elephant in the room, they all practically wolfed down the pancakes, all of them hungrier then they first thought.  
Sam cleared his throat but before he could start telling his story Dean started speaking.  
“I hope you know that we were enchanted before you'd left and we know that part of why you did was because you thought you didn’t belong with us and we didn’t want you anymore but that was never the case”  
“It’s not an excuse but I just hope you know that we love you with our entire beings and that we would’ve teared down the world to find you again” Cas spoke sincerely, tears brimming his eyes.  
“You guys were enchanted? How’d you find that out?” Sam was in shock with this news, while also trying to delay telling his story, he didn’t know why, he just didn’t want to see their reactions  
“Uh yeah, I called your phone and some guy picked up” They all ignored Sam’s flinch “and he said they were gonna ‘return you to your former power’. Anyway after that some witch came in and tried to kill us, told us she bewitched us so you’d leave and then we killed her”  
“What just like that? How’d you get out of being killed”  
“It was you Sam” It was Cas that spoke this time “Thinking of you and what she’d done broke her hold over us and then we were able to kill her”  
“Uh Wow I guess” Sam didn’t know how to reply, they actually did love him? Enough that it broke the hold a witch had over them?  
Sam was wrapped up in thought before Dean cleared his throat “So, what happened to you?”  
Sam told them his story, about collapsing and being taken in by some guy, traveling endlessly and slowly being fed blood. About the realization, the fight, the police officers, and finally finding himself in their arms.  
By the end both Dean and Cas looked ready to murder the first thing they saw but there was also a deep sadness etched on their faces.  
“C’mere Sammy”  
Dean held out his arms and his heart swelled as his baby brother fell into his arms and clung on tightly, he hugged back just as tightly before he brought out one arm, inviting Cas to join. Cas clung to the both of them, blessing his luck to have the two most amazing and unimaginable people in the universe.  
Despite his past promises he thanked his father for all that he’s gotten.

*** 

Sam would be lying if he said he still didn’t thirst for blood, he felt an ever present hunger within him, stronger than ever before and he didn’t think he could hold out much longer. He wanted to tell Cas and Dean but they couldn’t know how this felt, they couldn’t know what to do and it was only imagining their disgust at him that stopped him. However he didn’t know how long that would last.  
He was alone for the first time since he was brought back and he was getting some supplies for the road, they were heading back to the bunker and then were taking a much needed vacation somewhere sunny and safe.  
Sam was currently browsing the shops selection of sunscreen, although Dean would put up a fight and refuse up and down to putting it on they all knew that without it Dean would burn within an hour, and there was nothing worse than a grumpy Dean o vacation. As he was looking through them he noticed two gangly dudes in his peripheral looking directly at him, feeling uneasy Sam picked the first bottle his hand touched and turned, intending to get away from them under the pretense of getting another item.  
As he was walking he heard them follow, suddenly the door to the shop opened allowing a breeze and another guy through it, that's when the smell hit him. Demons.  
The guy who had just entered went straight to the desk and stuck his hand into the clerks stomach, smiling at her look of pain before he took out a knife and slid it across her throat, a gurgling noise the only thing to be heard from her.  
Sam only had his gun on him, which was next to useless, he was now surrounded and glanced along at the nearest shelves, hoping for salt but only finding snacks, nothing that would help him unless they were dying for one.  
"Our boss isn't too happy with you Winchester, he was so looking forward to seeing you and you just left. That wasn't very polite now was it" The demon in front of Sam said, he was the most muscled of the three and obviously in charge.  
"Yeah well you can tell him to go back to Hell" Sam growled toward him.  
Sam was tempted to fight his way out, but three against one weren't odds in his favor, especially when he all he could was they're blood pulsing and smell the sweet tang of their blood which their thin layer of skin did little to cover.  
"Not very polite today are we Sammy, boys"  
As Sam was trying to focus and find a way out his arms were pulled behind his back and held, while his head was jerked back and was now facing the ceiling. At his failing attempts to escape the holds on him, his jaw was forced open and he just noticed an arm go over his face before the first sweet drop hit his tongue, and it's like all thoughts but 'more' left him.  
As a slow flow of blood was fed to him he tried to lift his head so he could latch on and suck, getting the most he could. The grip on his hair loosened and he shot up, all thoughts of Cas and Dean gone from his mind as he drank and drank.  
Soon he noticed that he was trying to be pulled back again, however he wasn't done yet. Soon he felt the hands on him go, a moment later hearing the twin thuds of their bodies hitting the wall as he finished with this demon.  
The demon was panicking now, trying to pull his arm away while kicking and hitting at Sam to get him to stop. Quickly his attempts got weaker and he felt as if his energy was draining out of him, all the while Sam kept sucking.  
The two comrades against the wall watched with fear and amazement as Sam finished drinking the demon, a thud echoing through the shop as the now dead demon dropped to the floor.  
Sam turned towards them, blood on his lips making them look impossibly red. He raised a hand towards them, they were expecting to be forced out and shoved back downstairs, not to feel a lance of pain shoot through their bodies, they weren't told he could kill.  
Sam smiled on as he watched the two demons in pain, his power coming to him effortlessly now, God he'd missed this.  
The last thing the two demons saw before their ending was Sam smiling, his golden eyes shining mockingly at them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments, i greatly appreciate them.  
> I've decided to go with a longer story, so i hope you all enjoy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i've had a kinda terrible day but i wanted to keep up with one chapter a day so i'm sorry if this one suffers because of it

Sam was currently doing his best not to freak out, it had been four days since the incident in the shop and we was showing no signs of going through withdrawal, whether that was a good or bad thing was debatable.  
After having drunk the demon dry and killing his comrades Sam had picked up his shopping, so that Cas and Dean wouldn't ask questions, left the shop and called 911. After that he quickly made his way back to the motel room, glad to see that everything was packed and ready to go, allowing him to leave without the possibility of them finding out. Not that he worried much in that sense, they would only watch TV if Dean fancied watching Dr. Sexy and Sam did all of the research, looking through papers and websites for possible hunts, so Sam should be able to keep what happened in that shop a secret for now.  
Not that he wanted to lie to Dean and Cas, he felt dead guilty about it, but telling them would mean questions to which he had no answers too and isolation from those he loved, expecting at any moment to see their hallucinations call him 'freak', 'monster', and 'abomination', their words each taking a piece out of him as he listens to the words he dreads most leave their lips. No he couldn't go through that a third time, he doesn't know if he could survive.  
So for now he kept it a secret, the hunger for blood that had been haunting him for day was just a dull buzz in the back of his mind that was very easily managed, however he could feel his power bubble beneath the surface of his skin, tempting him to use them. Sam's been tempted to, eager to try and pull off things normal demons can do like transportation, but he knew he couldn't go down that path for it would only lead to heartbreak and most possibly the end of the world.  
Sitting in the passenger seat he watched the impala eat up the miles, taking them closer to home, promising him safety, hours under the sun, and an endless amount of time with his soulmates to become reacquainted with one another. Sam couldn't help but smile at the thought, couldn't wait until he felt the sand between his toes and making love once again to the two people who were his universe, his reason for existence. Without them Sam would've probably gone down a much shorter and less painful road, one where he wouldn't fear anything anymore and he could simply rest in Heaven waiting for his brother and Angel to join him.  
Sam turned to see Cas sleeping on the backseat and Dean tapping the steering wheel to the quiet tune of the music emitting from the radio, Sam would tell them everything later but for now he'll just bask in the familiarity and contentment of the scene, slowly falling asleep with a slight smile quirking his lips.

***

Crowley glared at the demon in front of him with rage, tempted to cast him down to the lowest chambers and let the demons have their way with him.  
Since the events with the Winchesters and their baby in a trench-coat, Crowley had sent demons out to spy on Sam, just to make sure that he doesn't go dark side again. While he had brushed off the tales concerning Sam, he did in fact have a gnawing fear concerning the younger Winchester. He hated to say it, that this man who'd lived a fraction of the amount he had, could cause him to go to such measures in order to avoid being overthrown. He'd worked centuries to earn his kingdom and he wasn't going to allow some boy with a few fancy tricks take it away from him.  
When he'd seen his best demon come back ahead of schedule, he knew that something had gone wrong.  
"Sir, we followed the younger Winchester liked you asked us too and he was intercepted by three demons two days ago, we were too late to stop him. He drank one dry and then killed the other two"  
"HE WHAT"  
"I'm sorry sir, we realized too late wh-"  
"I don't care for your excuses, your job was to ensure that nothing happened to that bloodsucker that could threaten not only me but this whole empire that i've built" Crowley was loosing his temper quickly and needed time alone to think of a new strategy  
"I understand Sir, It won-"  
"If you don't get out of my sight within the next second I'll set Juliet on you"  
"But Sir-"  
"I did warn you" Crowley said with strange calmness.  
In the next moment a loud howl echoed throughout the throne room followed by snarls, the demon turned to see a hell hound just shorter than himself, he quickly tried to disappear but found himself unable too, turning to Crowley he tried to beg for freedom.  
"Sir all that i've done for you, could you not show me mercy. I'll prove myself, I'll bring you Sam Winchesters head on a plate" The demon was begging and Crowley stared with disdain at him  
"And i thank you for your service. Juliet dinnertime" Crowley ignored the screams and sounds of flesh being ripped apart, instead he walked up and got himself a drink, sighing before he sat back down and started to come up with a plan to get not just Sam but Dean and Cas as well.  
It was time to get rid of them once and for all.

***

Bela Talbot walked down the squeaky hallway of the house they had made their base, while it was not the best it'd do, there was some local legend about a ghost or something that meant people didn't venture in and those that did weren't seen again.  
Her black eyes shined as she opened the door to the study, eager to tell her boss the great news of Sam's progress so far.  
"Just as we'd hoped Sam took the bait and drank the demon dry, he should feel his power and the urge to use it and soon he'll have too otherwise it'll consume him." Bela couldn't help the smug tone to her voice, their plan which took centuries in the making was now being put into action.  
"Did he drink all three?" Jessica Moore turned from the window to stare at her second in command, obsidian eyes reflecting Bela's.  
Bela's face fell "No, just one, he killed the other two"  
"That's a shame, he'd turn a lot sooner if he drank more"  
"I'm sorry, next time i'll mak-"  
"You don't have to apologize to me, it just means that things have to be pushed back" Her blonde hair swayed slightly in the breeze that went through the entire house "You can go now Bela, make sure that the next stage is prepared and ready for a moments notice"  
"Of course Jess, you should know Crowley is also keeping an eye on the Winchesters. If he gets to be an annoyance i could kill him for you"  
"He's not much of a threat at the moment, but if he becomes too meddlesome I'll let you know" Jess smiled sweetly, the news phasing her little.  
With that Bela left the room, ready to start the next stage and get this show on the road, she wondered what Sam and Deans faces would be when she dropped in.

***

Jess sat in the only reasonably comfortable chair in the house, leaned back and went over the events that lead her here in her head.  
Sam had left in the middle of the night to go on a road trip with his brother whom he'd mentioned once, while she'd stayed in their apartment and baked cookies eagerly awaiting his return. When she heard the door knock she'd leapt from the couch leaving the TV playing it's horror film of the week as she raced to the door, eager to see Sam again and to make sure that he was safe as he had said something about hunting.  
When she opened the door though Brady was standing before her, although disappointed she'd let him in wondering what her friend could want at this late hour. Before she knew it she felt a burning pain in her abdomen and looked down to see Brady holding a knife and blood start to color her nightgown. She didn't get death as a relief though and was dragged by some unknown force through the apartment as Brady took the lead to her and Sam's bedroom. Before she knew it, she was lifted ever higher until she hit something solid, by her view she guessed the ceiling.  
"Don;t worry, you'll get to see Sammy before you die, just know that he knew this would happen to you" With that he vanished.  
Jess's mind was fuzzy and was losing consciousness fast, and what did Brady mean Sam knew this would happen. Before she could continue with that thought she heard their front door open and Sam calling out her name. She was desperate to reply but didn't have the strength to even whisper a word.  
She saw Sam enter their room and lay on their bed, closing his eyes for a rest she could see he needed. That was when her blood had started dripping from her prone form, causing Sam to finally notice her. She breathed heavily trying to get out any word before she felt as if she were burning before she saw flames consume the ceiling. Before she died she noticed the look on Sam's face, below the fear and the sadness and the desperation to try and help but there was also recognition, as if he'd seen it before. She saw another figure enter their room and pull Sam away before everything went black.

When she awoke she had felt a sharp pain in her shoulder, one that only gained in intensity. Turning her head she saw a massive hook through her left shoulder and started screaming at the pain before she noticed a figure walking up to her, laughing.  
"We're going to have a lot of fun together, i promise you that" was all she heard the strange man with yellow eyes say before pain lanced through her body once more.

Jess had spent centuries on the rack, enduring day after day of torture before she was finally asked if she'd like to come off and have a go herself. She just wanted it all to end, so she had quickly agreed and before she knew it a blade was pressed into her hands and she was cutting into bodies. She hated it at first, couldn't bear the screams and sights of blood, but she quickly learnt. She built her way up in ranking and heard passing murmurs of the Winchesters, she was eager to find out what had happened to them, Brady's words still rang clear in her head and she wanted answers.  
That was how she met Bela, she was just another soul on the rack but claimed to have known the Winchesters, even to have worked together. From then on they became close and when Bela was ready she too was taken off and told Jess all she knew. She'd heard rumors from spirits of Sam being the Boyking but hadn't believed them to be true. Together they came up with a plan, empower Sam and get him to not only destroy Hell but the World, Bela can rule whatever little remained of the Earth, Jess knew all she wanted really was power, but Jess would reunite with Sam and would rule by his side, together they'd be unstoppable.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't much development in this one and I apologize for that, thank you for leaving comments it's nice to know people actually read this and enjoy it.  
> While it's not technically smut, it is a little and a lead up to it if that makes sense. If you don't want to read it then skip the whole first part.

Sam awoke slowly to the sun streaming through the open window; he heard birds chirping and waves crashing against the shore. He stretched languidly on the bed, relishing in the comfort of a memory foam mattress and down pillows, which definitely helped with the pleasant ache he felt throughout his body.  
Last night was a rush of desperation and want, all so eager to reconnect with one another that Sam’s sure clothes were ripped and part of the bed broke. Sure enough when he sat up he noticed the slight downward tilt of the bed and the dip in the middle, Cas could probably fix it for round 5? 6?   
“Finally up Princess?” Dean spoke as he was eating something that was probably 75% grease.  
“Shut up Jerk” Sam was still kinda tired and couldn’t quite formulate a suitable response.  
“Looks like we really did a number on you last night huh” Dean couldn’t hide the smug tone in his voice.  
“Don’t act so smug, it’ll be a while before you I’ll let you come near me let alone fuck me again, I can still feel you both” Sam groaned as he lay back down, hitting his head against the pillow and once again closing his eyes to try and get more sleep.  
As he tried to get himself comfortable with the bed how it was, he felt it dip further and opened his eyes to see Dean lying in front of him, smirk on his lips and intention clear in his eyes.  
“Hey Sammy, wanna give Cas a show when he gets out the shower, see if we can break a few more bedposts”  
Sam felt his dick twitch at the thought, surprised that after last night he could keep going. He noticed Deans eyes travel down his body which was poorly covered by the thin blanket, Dean then licked his lips in a way Sam thought should be illegal. He met with bright green eyes and before he could answer felt lips pressed against his, their kiss slow and sensual as they took time to explore each other’s mouths.   
Too soon they broke apart for breath, but left barely a gap between them as they panted heavily for air. With barely a recovery Dean pressed his lips to Sam’s once more, harder this time and moved on top of him. Sliding a hand into Sam’s hair, he tugged Sam’s head back exposing his long and tanned neck to Dean’s mouth which quickly went to renew the marks he had left last night. When Cas joined them he’d do the same, leaving people in no doubt to whom Sam belonged too.  
Just as Dean started to move his mouth down Sam’s body, intending to worship every part of his brothers body, the bathroom door opened and Cas came out still dripping wet with a thin towel draped over his hips and still sporting his sex hair. Cas stopped for a moment and took in the scene, of Dean on top of a naked Sam and his eyes dilated as he dropped his towel and joined them on the bed, quickly fixing all that they’d broken with a thought.  
Cas gripped Deans shorter hair and pulled him back, barely ignoring his shout of protest before he leaned down and covered Deans lips with his own. Sam groaned at the sight of the two of them, Dean still fully clothed and Cas naked, water dripping from his hair and sliding down his body, tempting Sam to follow their trail downward. As Sam leant up to start getting rid of the outrageous items of clothing Cas pushed him back down, lips still interlocked with Deans.   
The next thing he knew Cas’s mouth was against his neck renewing the old bites and making new ones while Dean latched on to one of his nipples and started flicking and swirling his tongue. All he could do was moan as he gripped Cas’s hair and pulled him up so he that he could taste their Angels lips. Their joined efforts were quickly turning his brain into a mushy puddle, but for the first time in a long time he let himself go, let himself feel nothing but the love and pleasure his lovers gave him, for the first time giving them complete control.  
Needless to say they ignored the constant bangs on the wall telling them they were too loud and while the sun was hot and the sand silky between toes none of them left the room that day to enjoy it, too wrapped up in one other.

***

Bela stared down at the Ouija board in front of her, confusion quickly turning to frustration as she read what the spirits spelt out.  
Rather than trust a demon with the task of keeping a close and constant eye on the Winchesters she’d enlisted the help of the spirit world, or rather enslaved some of them to her service. However now they’d let her down, telling her that they’d lost them.  
“What happened” Bela spoke out as she tried to keep in her rage, if they couldn’t find the Winchesters their plans would be pushed back even further and they’d waited long enough.  
The spirits had followed the Impala as it left the motel, following every twist and turn it made until five days after starting their journey they had hit some sort of barrier. None of them could pass, some had tried finding a way round but the circular barrier was unrelenting, they guessed that the Winchesters were in the centre. The spirits had then posted themselves around the circle but none of them saw the impala leave; they’d stayed for two days with no luck before Bela had summoned them.  
Bela resisted the urge to scream, Sam and Dean were as annoying as they always had been, and sometimes she thought that they both might know she’s behind the whole thing, just so they could purposely ruin her plans, again. She quickly dismissed the spirits, telling them to go back and keep an eye out saying that they’d have to come out for food sometime and when they do to snatch them.  
Bela didn’t want to have to go back to Jess with the news, without knowing where they are they couldn’t enact the next part of their plan. She got up and transported herself to some dark alley, she needed to take her rage out on someone before she faced her boss.  
What she didn’t know was that Sam and Dean were in the company of an Angel and were happily enjoying themselves halfway across the world.

***

Cas lay on his towel watching the two brothers play in the sea, they were having a wet sand ball fight and were constantly trying to duck each other under the water, looking for all the world to be children instead of adults.  
It made Cas sad that this was the first time the brothers had ever set foot on a beach, they looked happy and carefree for the first time in years. Cas couldn’t help but worry, they’d all gone through Hell and worse for the last few years and finally deserved a break.   
Despite trying to enjoy himself, Cas couldn’t quite put himself at ease, after what had recently happened with Sam he’d come to realize just how precious these humans were to him, and the devastating pain it would cause when they passed.   
While Sam and Dean would go to Heaven, Cas would have to stay Earthbound after freeing Metatron and all that he’d done as God. He may be able to convince Hannah for a visit now and again but he knew that would never be enough.  
There was also the suspicion of some bigger thing at work taking place, he didn’t know quite what it was but he had a feeling that it most definitely wasn’t good and that it most definitely involved them.  
Through his thoughts Cas heard his name being called and saw the two brothers waving their arms at him and calling him to join them. While he felt that everything would blow up soon, he would enjoy this vacation because who knew if they’d ever get another one.   
Putting a smile on his face, Cas then teleported from the sandy beach into the cool ocean, dunking both brothers into the sea. He laughed at their coughs and sputters when they resurfaced but couldn’t stop his shout as they both jumped at him causing them to all plunge into the cold ocean.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is a brief mention of suicidal thoughts within this chapter  
> I reckon a few more they'll be a few more chapters before the story is finished, again thanks for sticking around

Sam felt freezing cold and had broken into a light sweat, probably from sleep, also noticing that he had none of the covers and that Cas had burritoed himself in them. Each night they took turns of who was in the middle, Sam wished that was him though because it’d be a lot warmer there.  
As he lifted the covers from behind Cas so he could snuggle in next to him, Cas bucked away from him and into Dean, waking them both up. Sam thought his cold hands may have brushed Cas and surprised him, he was about to apologize for waking them up when two pairs of eyes glared at him with what can only be described as pure hatred and revulsion.  
“How dare you try and even touch me with your impure hands, what got into your head that an abomination like you could even dream of being in the presence of an Angel” Cas spoke with utter disgust towards Sam.  
Sam tried his best not to flinch at the words, they loved him, and they wouldn’t ever call him these things would they?  
Then it was if a nightmare was plucked straight out of Sam’s mind and was being enacted.  
“Sam we want you to go, now” Dean spoke with little emotion in his voice and eyes, simply staring at Sam and waiting for him to comply  
“Dean I don’t ge-“  
“I said leave Sam, Cas and I can’t stand to be around you anymore, you’re unclean and a monster who just sucks down more poison to get another high. If you don’t go I will have to kill you, because that’s my job. To hunt down monsters like you”  
Sam couldn’t stop the tears that started falling down his face if he tried “You don’t mean that, you can’t-” Sam’s voice broke unable to speak as his throat clogged with the possibility.  
It was Cas that spoke now “We don’t want you, and we never have. After all who would want a screw up like you, who’s gotten innocent people killed with his only concern being himself. You’re Lucifer’s vessel, wherever you go hatred and death will follow. I don’t even know why you haven’t given into the temptations that call to you in the night, or did you think you still had a chance with us”  
Sam was trying to hold back the flood of tears he wanted to let loose but his attempts were fruitless, tears streamed down his face and Sam could barely cover the sobs that came from his throat.  
“You have two minutes to leave before I get my gun out Sam”  
Sam couldn’t move, he was paralyzed by emotion. He wanted to fight, to argue all the things they said, but they’re right. He’s just a colossal screw up who’s been a freak since birth and continues to let down the people he loves most. He’s not surprised they want him gone, it was only a matter of time, but there was no way Sam could carry on living after this.  
Before he could carry on his train of thought he found himself pinned to the wall, Cas in front of him with an Angel Blade pressed to his throat.  
“We did warn you” was the only thing Cas said before he started to lift his arm with the intention of plunging it into his heart.  
Sam closed his eyes, wanting to remember happier moments and not wanting this to be the last thing he saw before he died.  
“Wait”  
Sam’s eyes fly open at the sound of Dean’s voice, maybe he doesn’t want this after all, and maybe he can stay. Sam couldn’t help the hope that flooded him, only to feel his heart drop into his stomach at Dean’s next words.  
“I want to do it”  
Soundlessly Cas passed over the blade and took a few steps back, watching as Dean twirled the blade in his hand and at Sam’s cheeks staining themselves with more tears.  
Sam looked into his brother’s eyes, this was for the best and it was a long time in coming, at least no one else will get hurt because of him anymore. He nodded his head, closing his eyes just before Dean plunged the Blade into his chest.

***

Jess had grown tired of waiting, it had been three days since Bela told her that they’d lost the Winchesters and she’d just about had enough.  
She needed information on where they were and what stopped spirits from entering it and there was only one person she could think of that would know such things, Crowley.  
While she hated Crowley for how he had changed Hell, from torture to cells and dictatorship, he was her best bet. A simple summoning and demon trap should do the trick, which was kind of embarrassing for the king of Hell  
She called out to her third in command, telling the demon what she needed and where to put it, that she didn’t want to be disturbed and anyone that did would find themselves under her knife.  
When Bela and herself had proposed their idea to other demons, she was surprised by how many wanted the same thing, Sam as their king and the world destroyed that is, those who thought her unworthy as Queen found themselves on her table and quickly agreed that they would be perfect together.  
While part of her hated Sam for allowing her death to take place, she also felt sorry for him. When the apocalypse started she’d rejoiced at the chance to go top side and wreak havoc, only to be let down by Lucifer when he’d told them all to wait until he’d found his true vessel.  
Jess was surprised to find out it was Sam, and while she hated him for overcoming Lucifer and putting him back in his cage, she had to admire his strength. It was also the only time she had ever felt sympathy for someone as a demon, to willingly spend eternity being tortured by the two most powerful archangels just to save the world was a bit much, but she smiled as that was her Sam, always putting others before himself.  
Now Jess stood in the basement of the rickety old house, Devil trap set up in front of her along with the ingredients and spell. It was easy enough to perform and she smiled when she saw the king standing in the trap.  
“Nice of you to pop in Crowley, I trust you had a nice journey”  
“Jessica Moore I should’ve known. Let me guess, you’re the big bad boss who wants moose in charge am I right?”  
“You hit the Jackpot. Now tell me where the Winchesters are”  
“And why would I tell you, I loathe and hate you, or did you forget that time you tried to kill me”  
“I’m only sorry I failed, now where are they” Jess had already had enough of him, somehow he got on every single one of them.  
“When Hell freezes over”  
Jess sighed “I’d hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this” She clicked her fingers and waited for her third to appear. When no one came she called out her name and still nothing.  
Crowley looked smug from where he was standing “You didn’t think that I’d have eyes on you since you tried to stab me in the back”  
Jess glared at him, wide eyed as his words sunk in. Suddenly she raced up the stairs and searched the house, finding the bodies of her comrades and friends littering the floor. Rushing past them she went to the attic where they kept the altar and the spell. Standing in the room she looked around, noticing that everything was smashed, from vials to tables, all her hard work had been ruined by some smarmy demon with an accent.  
She transported to the basement, only to find Crowley gone, a note in his place, ‘Until next time’. She wished she could stab his stupid face with a knife, turning around she started walking towards the stairs before she found her way blocked by some invisible force. Looking up she saw a devils trap mocking her before her eyes caught the ‘hang in there baby’ poster. She screamed in frustration, everything had been ruined and now she was trapped in some dank basement with no hope of getting out.  
Yeah, she was definitely going to kill Crowley.

***

Dean was deep within sleep, thinking of what they could do the next day which would probably be to go shopping for summer clothes that they were seriously lacking. He was warm and comfortable until he felt himself being shaken quite violently, whoever was doing it must probably see it as an emergency.  
Opening his eyes, Dean rubbed them briefly to try and get some clarity in the dark room before he saw Cas over him, panicked expression on his face.  
“Cas it’s like 2 in the morning wha-“  
“It’s Sam, I don’t know what happened, one minute he was fine and now…” Cas broke off and looked down unable to look at Deans face.  
Like a bolt Dean sat upright and saw his brother on the other side of the bed, he was sweating but cold to the touch, Dean could see that Cas had tried to warm him up by placing numerous blankets over him, but they made little difference. Sam’s body was shaking violently especially where his hands gripped the sheets, his eyes danced behind his lids and every now and then he’d mumble a word or two.  
“Cas what happened”  
“I don’t know Dean, I couldn’t sleep and I heard Sam start talking but I thought that he’d developed that trait so I thought nothing of it. Then I noticed that he was shaking and I tried to wake him but nothing would work so I woke you up and he’s just getting worse and I can’t…”  
“Cas calm down okay, it’s not your fault, we’ll get Sam out of this”  
“What if he doesn’t wake?”  
“He’ll have too”  
With that Dean started lightly shaking his brothers form, fear and panic rising as it seemed to do nothing “C’mon Sammy wake up, don’t make me lick your face again”  
Still nothing except a few mumbled words that came out of his mouth which Dean couldn’t catch, but by the noise Cas made he had.  
“What is it, what did he say?”  
Cas sat there tears brimming his eyes “He apologized for being the monster we thought him to be and asked us to make his death quick”  
Hearing this Dean returned to trying to wake Sam up with fervor, Cas helping him. Suddenly Sam’s body stopped shaking and was deadly still, which did little to reassure the others. Suddenly his back arched, lifting his chest up and his head was thrown back, a pained expression on his face.  
As suddenly it had started it stopped, Sam dropped down, his body still for a moment longer before his eyes shot open and he sat up with lightning speed.  
Sam saw Dean and Cas looking at him with worried and pained expressions but ignored them as he tried to back away from them, they didn’t want him, he was a liability and sooner or later they’d take him out for being the monster he was.  
“Sammy, it’s okay it was just a dream” Dean reached out with a hand, ignoring that Sam tried to flinch away from him.  
He noticed Sam’s pale and drawn features and that he was still shaking, he put his arms around Sam and held him for a moment waiting for his body to relax, breathing a quick sigh of relief when after what felt like hours he did.  
Sam loosened Dean’s hold on him but still let himself be held as he stared into his eyes for a moment before looking towards Cas.  
“I’m sorry that i…”  
“No you don’t apologize for anything Sam Winchester, you’re a good man and I would die before I let you believe that we thought of you as anything but good.” Cas couldn’t help the emotion that coloured his tone, to think that Sam still thought of himself as a bad person, as a monster.  
Before Sam could reply with anything, his gaze turned from them to other side of the room, his eyes widened with horror and he started struggling in Dean’s arms. Before any of them could question what was going on a quiet ‘Lucifer’ was mumbled from Sam’s lips.  
Sam was having hallucinations then, which meant he was going through detox, well better late than ever. With a quick look at Cas they were no longer in the motel and instead in their bedroom at the bunker.  
They both held him as he shook and whimpered, clearly scared at what he saw, leaving both Cas and Dean feeling helpless. They couldn’t help the guilt that they felt as they realized that this is what it had been like the first times as well, and they’d left him to suffer alone.  
This time though they wouldn’t leave Sam to suffer in isolation, they’d stay with him and ward off the images that tried to hurt him. When he wasn’t suffering, they’d reassure him that they still loved him and always would, that he meant more to them than he could possibly know.  
They settled in for a long night, arms wrapped around Sam protectively and eyes glaring around the room as if trying to scare off the images that Sam saw within his mind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i haven't posted, i was busy and hit a writer's block.  
> This is the penultimate chapter, so enjoy

It had taken days of summoning and reading through book after book but finally Bela had found out where Sam and Dean had gone. The Men of Letters were meant to have ended decades ago after they were all slaughtered but it was just like the Winchesters to somehow bring them back and to be living in one of their abandoned bunkers.  
While she now knew where they were there was the small matter of getting in, spirits were locked out so she could only imagine that she would as well. At least she now had something and could go back to base, inform Jess and the others and then can formulate a plan to take Sam and get this over with.  
With a thought she was in the dark and damp living room of the house, the wind making the walls shriek, but the most distinguishing thing was the silence.  
Normally there’d be shouts and arguments left right and centre, crashes and bumps as demons fought and cheers from others at the violence, but now there was nothing, only the whisper of the wind.  
Bela left the room, her heels clicking against the floor as she started walking through the house; it wasn’t long before she started seeing the bodies. All of their ‘army’ was dead, their bodies littering the hallways and stairs, their blood dry on the floor showing that they’ve been like this for some time.  
Bela went to the attic and saw all their hard work and labour smashed to pieces. The spell that kept Sam on a constant high instead of withdrawal was broken, the vial that kept the spirits chained to Bela was broken, and it would only be a matter of time before they came for revenge.  
Just as Bela was about to disappear so she could hole up somewhere and wait for word from Jess she heard a shout coming from downstairs.  
In a moment she was back in the living room, eyes scanning every inch of the room and ears listening for the tiniest breath. She heard the shout again from below her, teleporting to the basement she was met with the sight of a seething Jess standing in the centre of a devils trap.  
With a click of her fingers a crack appeared on the ceiling, breaking the trap, but before she could even put her hand down Jess was in her face, all white hot rage.  
“Where were you, you were supposed to come back days ago”  
“I was trying to find out where the Winchesters were, like you told me too” Bela couldn’t help her own rage coming out now  
“It doesn’t matter anymore they destroyed EVERYTHING, all that we worked for has been laid to ruins by some stuck up good for nothing demon who thinks he’s so high and mighty”  
“You know who did this?” Bela had an idea, she just needed confirmation  
“Of course I do, I summoned him here and somehow he got his people to ruin everything. I swear if I see him again he’d wished that I’d killed him when I had the chance”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Crowley, that pathetic excuse for a king is what I’m talking about. Oh when I get my hands on him..”  
“I know where the Winchesters are, we can get them, there’s still time to get Sam, I could whip up a quick spell and then we set him on Crowley, two birds with one stone”  
“It’s too late, the spell was destroyed days ago, by now most if not all the demon blood we put in Sam will be gone. It’d take months to get him up to kill that dick Crowley.” Jess just wanted her hands around Crowley’s throat; time and time again he had ruined her plans  
“Look I know you’re angry-“  
“Understatement” Jess snorted, furious was more like it.  
Ignoring the interruption Bela continued “But we can’t exactly go into Hell and kill Crowley, that’d be suicide. I propose we go visit the Winchesters, use their bunker to our advantage by summoning Crowley and then we kill him.”  
“What about Sam and Dean?”  
“Make up some lie, get them on our side and if things go sideways who says they have to be conscious. Then we can also carry on with our plan, in his state Sam won’t be able to resist our blood, it’ll be a piece of cake”  
“Okay but how do we get in; surely this thing is warded to the high heavens” Jess couldn’t stop her bluntness but her confidence in this plan was strictly minimal  
“I may have found a way to get in, but it won’t be pretty”  
“Please say something other than the sewage system” 

*** 

It had been five long and exhausting days, however Dean hadn’t minded staying up and protecting his brother from the images that had tried to hurt him, no the worst part was seeing his Sammy suffering.  
Dean swore up and down that he’d do whatever it took to make sure Sam never went through this kind of pain again.  
All three of them were lying in bed, fresh sheets courtesy of Cas and freshly grilled cheese sandwiches courtesy of Dean. They were all exhausted and barely had the energy to pick up the sandwich from their plates, but they were all so starving that they practically wolfed them down.  
When they were done Cas had gotten rid of their plates with a thought before they all snuggled up together, Sam in the middle and held tightly by both his partners as the warmth of the blankets pulled them under to a calm and dreamless sleep.  
Sam was the first to go, his breathing producing a nice lulling rhythm that allowed Dean to be pulled under. Before they both lost all consciousness, Cas lent forward and kissed the back of Sam’s neck before leaning over and kissing Dean’s forehead. The last thing they heard before they were pulled under was Cas’s voice saying “I’ll watch over you”

*** 

Cas stared at his lovers sleeping forms, watching their bodies rise and fall as they slept off the last few days.  
Sam’s detox had been hard on all of them, while they hadn’t known exactly what Sam was seeing and what was being done it wasn’t hard to figure out, from his whispers and screams and the way his arms sometimes flailed as if he was trying to fight back.  
They’d had brief moments of respite where they would comfort Sam, give him something to eat and make sure he had a drink. They’d whisper words of comfort and support, before Sam would start closing up and backing away from them as the next hallucination came.  
It was especially hard for Dean when Sam had called out “Mom” in a small and lost voice, before he just seemed to relax and started whispering to someone only he could see.  
The worst part though was near the end, while Sam had suffered through visions of Alistair and Lilith, even Ruby, through Jess and Mary, Ellen, Jo, and Bobby even through Lucifer and Michael back in the cage, the worst one though was when Sam had started seeing hallucinations of them.  
At first Sam had been confused on whom to trust, avoiding contact from all of them as he sat hunched in the middle of the bed crying and pleading. It was then that Sam was flung against a wall, before Cas or Dean could even blink Sam started screaming in pain, what broke them was that Sam was apologizing to ‘them’.  
Apologizing for being a monster, and always letting them down. Apologizing that he wasn’t good enough and for being impure, but the worst was when he apologized for still being here and that they deserved so much better than him.  
When the visions had disappeared Sam had collapsed onto the floor, wrenching out broken cries and sobs, lashing out at either of them that came too close. That had broken them most of all.  
It had taken many hours and a lot of coaxing to get Sam onto the bed again, so he could lay down and sleep briefly before the next assault from his mind.  
Cas and Dean had felt hopeless, they couldn’t stop it from happening and it seemed that each one was worse than the last. Thankfully though that one had been the last of it.  
When all was done they went to the showers and cleaned themselves of the dirt and sweat from the past five days, afterwards Dean had left to go make food while Cas lay with Sam in bed, holding him tightly to his body and whispering soft words into his ear.  
Before he could carry on with his thought he heard a crash. His senses were much stronger than those of humans so even if they’d been awake Sam and Dean wouldn’t have heard it, but it had come from the other side of the bunker.  
With a thought he was at the source of the crash, extending out a small piece of Grace to keep Sam and Dean safe while they still slept.  
The first thing Cas noticed was the smell of Sulfur, which meant trouble for them. Before he could think further he felt a pull on his Grace which meant something was trying to get into the room. In a blink of an eye he was pushing a body against the door, Angel Blade at their throat as they tried to collect themselves.  
“Well well well what do we have here” A voice came from behind Cas, before he could turn around, the demon in front of him flipped him, his back was to the floor and his weapon in her hand.  
“Bela who is this” The demon came into view and Cas gasped at the sight of Jessica Moore.  
“I don’t know maybe their maid, he doesn’t put up much of a fight does he?” The moment he heard the British accent, Cas knew this to be Bela Talbot.  
“Well he shouldn’t be here, kill him”  
Just as Bela leaned down to try and stab him with his own Blade, his hand shot up and latched onto her forehead. Her scream filled the corridor as bright light filled her being, as molecule by molecule Bela’s essence was ripped apart by Cas, a second later her body dropped over him, eyes burnt out.  
Jess stared in shock and horror as Bela was destroyed by an Angel, before she could turn Cas was in her face, pinning her against the wall.  
“What is an Angel doing here?”  
“What are you doing here Jessica, you should be in Heaven”  
“When I died I went to Hell, I was a good person, I didn’t deserve that but I figured I could make something out of it”  
“So it’s you; you’re the one who’s been trying to get Sam back to power”  
“You catch on quick don’t you, if it wasn’t for Crowley Sam would be eating out of my palm right now”  
Before Cas could reply the bedroom door opened and out came Sam trying to be held back by Dean.  
“Jess?” Sam sounded so lost Cas’s heart broke again  
“Hey Sam, how’s the detox going?” she smiled towards him  
“What- How do you-“  
Jess closed her eyes and when they opened again they were pitch black, smile gracing her features as Sam looked at her.  
“Cas someone must have possessed her she can’t be-”  
“It’s all me baby” Jess couldn’t stop the laugh at Sam’s pained look.  
In the next moment Jess swung her arm and Cas was flung with surprising accuracy into Dean, both a pile on the floor as Jess sauntered towards Sam, brushing a stray lock of his hair behind his ear.  
“Jess I’m so sorry you died, I didn’t- I should’ve protected you and instead-“ Sam couldn’t carry on, the pain was too much.  
“It’s okay Sam, we’re together now. We can do all the things we wanted, don’t you want that”  
“You’re the one who’s done this, who made me become more of a monster” Sam was trying not to cry, to think that Jess, his Jess, would do this to him  
“I’m sorry you were hurt baby it wasn’t supposed to happen like this” Jess whispered softly to him, hand cupping the side of his face softly.  
Sam was so confused and lost he didn’t notice her pull out a blade and slide it across her neck, blood welling to the surface as it assaulted Sam’s senses.  
By now Dean and Cas were up but being restrained, they could only watch the scene unfold before them. Watch as Sam would leave them a second time.  
Sam leaned into Jess, the smell of blood irresistible and much needed after the detox. Jess couldn’t help but laugh as she looked at Cas and Dean stuck in their bedroom, that they could do little but watch as Sam drank down her blood and take his rightful place.  
Sam lent in and kissed Jess’s cheek, before going to her ear.  
“I’m so sorry, you deserved so much better”  
Before Jess could even blink a blade was stabbed into her abdomen, looking down she saw Sam holding the handle of a knife as pain ripped through her. She looked up to his eyes brimmed with tears before the blade was pulled out and the world went dark.  
Cas and Dean stared in shock as Jess’s body fell to the floor motionless, they stood stock still despite the hold on them having gone. Sam turned towards them dropping the knife onto the floor as he approached them.  
“I choose you, I’ll always choose you”  
At those words Cas and Dean rushed to Sam all huddling together as they cried and fell to the floor, a strange sort of relief settling over the three of them.  
No matter how bad things got, in the end they would always choose each other.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, thank you for sticking around and reading.  
> This chapter is very short but i hope you enjoy

When morning had come they’d decided to give Jess and Bela a hunters funeral, it hadn’t been easy for Sam to place Jess’s body on the pyre, forcing him to once again say goodbye to her, except now his memory of her was tainted.  
While he had wanted to believe that Jess was still pure and innocent, it had turned out that she had been power hungry and malicious, driven towards her goal of making Sam a monster so she could rule over others.  
When the bodies had burnt and were nothing but embers on the ground they had gone back inside, Dean had made them some comfort food and they had spent the next few weeks staying in the bunker, wrapped up in each other and relishing the moments that they had together. All still thankful that they were still together.  
Soon though trouble came knocking and they had to go back on the road and carry on with the family business, they kept tabs with those closest Jody, Claire, Krissy and whenever they called they helped where they could.  
Now though they never went anywhere without the others, if Dean wanted to go to a bar they’d all decide they needed a night out, when Sam wanted to go to the library they all agreed they needed to do a little more research.  
A few months after the events with Jess, Dean had asked them both to marry him. They’d both agreed without hesitation and that night they’d gotten little to no sleep, eager to show each other what the others meant to them, that they were it for each other.  
The next day they’d gone ring shopping, each choosing a simple golden band which they got their initials carved inside of. Cas smiled at his, the little S.W and D.W were drawn similar to that in the Impala, remembering how it was their love that had saved the World. That night under the stars they’d said their vows to one another, tears sliding down their cheeks as they placed the rings on each other and sealed their futures with a kiss.  
A few years later and they’d retired of sorts, they still helped their girls when they called and anything that cropped up nearby they’d deal with but they were getting tired. Crowley still asked for aid sometimes and although they were often unwilling, without him they wouldn’t be there, so instead gritted their teeth and did as he asked.  
Instead of constantly looking for the next hunt, now they’d look for a new place to visit, crossing the country once again but this time for them. Dean had even agreed to let Cas fly them abroad, allowing them to see London and Rome, Paris and Egypt. Sam and Cas had laughed at Deans constant moaning in Egypt, his constant complaints about the heat and his chagrin at how burnt he got when he’d refused the sun cream Sam had offered him.  
They’d all had it rough but now they could enjoy the finer things in life, sleeping in every morning and reading for leisure instead of necessity. Dean even got a job as a mechanic, always returning home eagerly to talk about which car he’d worked on, but swore up and down that none would ever be as good as his Baby.  
Sure they weren’t perfect and were a little rough around the edges but when they were together they were whole and they were home, each thanking whatever entity was out there that whatever happened they will always have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested and like how i write (which i doubt) you can always come to my tumblr, sammy-the-sasquatch-boyking, and ask for me to write you something which i will be more than happy to do.  
> Once again thanks for sticking around


End file.
